is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
