I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
