problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
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Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
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STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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