He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize