How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
