Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
