get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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