I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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