i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
