I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
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Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
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Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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