But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
