I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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