My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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