goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize