i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
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