Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
