He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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