you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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