I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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