is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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