so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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