Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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