Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
