i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
