Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
