how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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