youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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