you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize