Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
