Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
