your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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