I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
you have to choose: penises or morals?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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