If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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