C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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