Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
