She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
