My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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