so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
bring money and cleavage
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
