Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
