Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
