Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
