Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
