For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
my poor anus
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
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