my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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