I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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