Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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