are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
