i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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