Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I FOUND THE LEGS
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
