Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
