Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
