I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
