hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
