Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
