Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashian’s Have Rocked
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"