no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
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I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
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I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.