i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
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