who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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