Dual....:-)
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Terrible idea I love it
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
