he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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