Jerry, you need to find god
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
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