plz talk dirty to me
I didn't shave. On purpose
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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