You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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