i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
