You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
