I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
