Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize