Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
