I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm jealous of your bromance
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
